Is Blogging Really For Me?

September 13, 2006 at 5:41 am (Journaling)

WARNING ~*~Small Rant Ahead~*~ WARNING 

Look at this, I haven’t posted here since mid July!  What is up with that?  I really like having a place where I can post my crochet work, but I get focused in perfectionism, wanting the perfect blog, where in reality I should just post my work for my family and friends to see and be done with it.

I have a problem with perfectionism.  It’s taken me a long time to realize that.  Believe it or not, it’s all because of FlyLady that I have come to this conclusion.  She says we use perfectionism as an excuse not to get things done.  If we don’t have time to get down on our hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor then why oh why should we do it at all.  FlyLady says I really don’t have to do it right, just do it, do something.  Get started.  With that, everything should fall into place.

Saturday I will be 44.  44.  44 – there was a time when I felt that was OLD.  My body right now feels old.  I have facet syndrome in my back that I deal with on a constant basis.  With this I have a daily pain in my right foot that sometimes makes me walk with a slight limp.  I sit here at my computer with 2.0 reading glasses because I can’t see anything on my huge 19″ LCD monitor, how sad is that after a lifetime of perfect site?  Sadly, I am overweight, and this after I was successful in 2002-2003 of taking 60+ pounds off (yup, I have gained it all back except 4 pounds).  I worry about my blood pressure (coming from a family with heart disease) and the doctor says I am smack dab in the middle of “the change”.

So, although the body is getting older, the mind doesn’t seem to want to catch up.  Sometimes I feel like I am still 16.  This brings in a whole new viewpoint that I am slowly starting to understand thanks to the site BratFactor – I am starting, just starting to understand the power our mind plays in the decisions we make on a daily basis.

I have finally stumbled on an activity that I truly enjoy doing, and that is Crochet.  It forces me to relax, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.  It enables me to make things for my daughter which from the day I found out she was a girl, I wanted to make clothes for her.  I have always loved sewing, but never had the place to do it, so once I found out I could make wearables for children, I was all for the crochet experience.

I also enjoy making things for other people.  Alot of what I crochet goes to others.  I have even done some charity work.  It’s a great deal of pride when I send something anonymously to someone in need.  I don’t need for them to know I sent it, just the fact that it was sent, and it will be used is the only satisfaction I need.

With all that dribble above, I have decided to make this blog my journal.  No longer will it contain JUST crochet, but other things I feel a need to express.  To the world, or just to myself, it doesn’t matter.  I am just going to do it.  My goal is to come here once a day (for heavens sake, I get up around 4am everythng morning, I have a bit of time to do this!) and express something…anything.

With that, I bid you a great day.  I feel better that I have at least started something.  Sucky as it is.  FlyLady would be proud.

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